Joey "Morals" Barton

Barton: Angry

 Well knock me down, Cesc Fabregas has signed for Barcelona? I did not see this coming. I don’t know how Barcelona managed to keep this so quiet and maintain such dignity in the process.....Is there anybody who didn’t breathe a sigh of relief when this tedious saga was finally brought to an end?

The departure of Fabregas and the supposedly imminent departure of Samir Nasri have prompted a flurry of obituaries for Arsene Wenger’s career. Ridiculously short sighted but then that is football in a nutshell. Arsenal are written off every season and whilst losing Fabregas is a massive blow I won’t be writing them off anytime soon. That is until we reach April and they have their annual collapse, THEN I will write them off

Wenger is being urged to SPEND SPEND  SPEND which sounds easy in principle but the whole of the football world now know Arsenal have got the Fabregas (and potentially Nasri) money sat in their current account! Similar to the Fernando Torres – Andy Carroll scenario, Arsenal will find their 40-50m isn’t going to stretch very far. As far as Liverpool are concerned I hope any spending spree is curtailed until after Saturday’s game! 

The new season might only be one weekend old but The Joey Barton Show is well and truly underway again (yawn). If he isn’t spouting philosophical shite on Twitter he is causing controversy on the pitch. If Barton had kept his fists out of the Gervinho penalty saga he probably would of come out of Saturday as a victim of sorts, but Barton being Barton can’t resist the lures of a “ruck”. It makes his sudden discovery of some kind of moral code even funnier. There’s no amount of quoting  the greats of the literature world that can make Joey Barton seem like any less of a cunt. For him to accuse Gervinho of diving and then throw himself to the floor after taking a brush to his face shows him up to be the hypocrite he is. 

It’s as if Barton is trying to expose the sins of football through Twitter, but he really is on shaky ground. I’ve never been to jail or stubbed a cigarette out in someones eye and I don’t try to play Mr Morals on Twitter so why is he. Changed man my eye. The guy has got a list of misdemeanours as long as the London rioters.....collectively.  He’s trying too hard to come across as a reformed character through Twitter but each one of his tweets is more cringeworthy than the last one and don’t get me started on that poor excuse for a haircut.

Robbie Keane has completed a move to another of his boyhood clubs, LA Galaxy. I’m really looking forward to hearing the criticism Harry Redknapp is going to get for making such a huge loss on the fee he paid for him in the first place, you know like Rafa Benitez did, and still does actually. Infact, he has made an even bigger loss than Benitez so I can trust the British press to get their knives out for Harry. Anything less would surely be hypocritical, and our media definitely aren’t a gang of bigoted, hypocritical, biased tossers who definitely don’t  lick that saggy faced moron’s arse .

Finally, I had to laugh that Steve Kean was found guilty of drink driving. Not only is he a shit manager, he is also a pretty dreadful human being. That is going to be one lonely walk through the streets of Blackburn when he is inevitably fired by the chicken people. 

Challenge Lawrenson: The Result

Lawrenson                                                       Me

Blackburn 1 - 1 Wolves                                Blackburn  2 - 2 Wolves

Fulham 2 - 1 Aston Villa                               Fulham 1 - 1 Aston Villa

Liverpool 2 - 0 Sunderland                           Liverpool 2 - 0 Sunderland

Man City 2 - 0 Swansea                                Man City 4 - 1 Swansea

Newcastle 1 - 2 Arsenal                                Newcastle 0 -1 Arsenal

Stoke City 1 - 1 Chelsea                                Stoke City 1 - 3 Chelsea

 QPR 2 - 1 Bolton                                          QPR 1 - 1 Bolton

West Brom 1 - 2 Man Utd                           West Brom 0 - 6 Man Utd

Wigan 2 - 0 Norwich City                             Wigan 1 - 1 Norwich City

So in the first week of the Lawrenson Challenge, big surprise I managed to beat him 6-5. To quote the great Jenson Button, "WINNING!". Take that Lawrenson. Easiest job in the world.

Challenge Lawrenson

 It’s finally here. The Premier League is back as of tomorrow apart from in one riotous corner in the north of London. Still every cloud has a silver lining, at least Everton will remain unbeaten and be leading the Game in hand over der Redshite league table for a few weeks. Bless them x

My predictions for the season

Man City won’t win the league unless there is a club out there who is willing to sell them some bottle.

Arsenal will carry on believing they are a couple of players away from winning the league while everyone realises they won’t win anything till they stop believing their own hype and buy some defenders.

Steve Kean will be lucky to still be the Blackburn manager by September.

Bolton will struggle.

Neil Warnock will be angry and bitter.

Everton will release another “Off To A Flyer” DVD, now their first game of the season’s been postponed.

Lawrenson: Tit

I’d make a whole host of predictions about who will finish where but I’d only regret them come what May. Instead I've decided to pit my wits against one of the worst pundits out there, and there is enough candidates. This season I will attempt to make more of a tit out of Mark Lawrenson than he manages to himself in my new game, a new Friday feature called, “Challenge Lawrenson”. Last season I noticed how shite he was at predicting results so this season I will try to outwit him at his own game. By the end of the season I aim to have definitive prove that anyone can do his job. He doesn’t know it, but I’m coming for you Lawrenson. I’ll see you out there....

Lawrenson                                                       Me

Blackburn 1 - 1 Wolves                                Blackburn  2 - 2 Wolves

Fulham 2 - 1 Aston Villa                               Fulham 1 - 1 Aston Villa

Liverpool 2 - 0 Sunderland                           Liverpool 2 - 0 Sunderland

Man City 2 - 0 Swansea                                Man City 4 - 1 Swansea

Newcastle 1 - 2 Arsenal                                Newcastle 0 -1 Arsenal

Stoke City 1 - 1 Chelsea                                Stoke City 1 - 3 Chelsea

 QPR 2 - 1 Bolton                                          QPR 1 - 1 Bolton

West Brom 1 - 2 Man Utd                           West Brom 0 - 6 Man Utd

Wigan 2 - 0 Norwich City                           Wigan 1 - 1 Norwich City

1 point for a correct result and 3 points if you get the right score. Play along at home.

Chelsea - Global Domination : Mission Failed.....Epically Failed

I’ll roll the records back to Friday 24^th November 2006, two days before Chelsea visited Old Trafford for the following: 

The Premiership title race's day of judgement looms on Sunday but the phoney war started yesterday when Peter Kenyon laid out Chelsea's plans to be the biggest club in the world by 2014 - and, in doing so, overhauling Manchester United's pre-eminence as the most famous name in English football.

Peter Kenyon arrogantly declared how Chelsea were on course to be the biggest club in the world. Five years and five managers later they are no closer now than they were then. I’ve made this point a few times on this blog and if I’m boring you, then what’s new. The reason I raise it again is despite Chelsea’s attempts to turn themselves into a football giant, they are failing. 

The Asian market is the Promised Land for football clubs. Fanatical supporters  who treat players like superstars and buy merchandise en masse. The revenue clubs make from that part of the world is the only explanation required for the long haul trips they make there every pre season. This season Chelsea have boarded Air Asia in search of supporters and the riches they bring. So imagine my enjoyment when I saw the turnout for Chelsea’s big welcome to Malaysia.

Now Liverpool were in the exact same stadium, only four days ago so in the interest of fairness we can compare the two turnouts.

So one of these clubs is “on course for global domination”, and the other is without a league title in decades and can’t even offer European football of any kind this season.

Again, in the interest of fairness, let’s compare Chelsea’s Far East support with the club Peter Kenyon so arrogantly declared they were going to “overhaul”.

Seriously, take your pick. Let’s try Arsenal. A club who haven’t won a trophy for fucking years. 

Hours of fun! It just goes to prove you really ain't got no 'isssstory. Even the Asians aren't buying your fake, plastic toy Mr Abramovich.

Once more, LET’S ALL LAUGH AT CHELSEA.

Summer Musings Part 1

So how is everyone coping with the summer break so far? Bored yet? I am so I noted down some of my findings from the "Transfer Window sponsored by Sky Sports News". Enjoy.

Another summer, more dramas for Arsenal with another mass exodus on the cards, Clichy has gone, Nasri looks like he’s off and that’s before you remember the inevitable yearly Fabregas-Barcelona yawnfest. Almunia and Bendtner are supposedly in talks with other clubs but that is probably music to the ears of Arsenal fans. So naturally, we’ll soon be hearing the pre season predictions of doom that this is the year Arsenal finally implode and lose their “BIG FAB FOUR” status which they probably prove wrong, for about the fifth season running.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief when Cesc Fabregas finally gets his move to Barcelona so we don’t have to spend our entire summer hearing Barcelona and their players unashamedly tap up Fabregas using every trick in the book. To me it’s nothing more than a vanity purchase for Barcelona because I can’t see Fabregas replacing Xavi or Iniesta anytime soon.  

Unlike Nasri and Fabregas, Gael Clichy’s transfer is already complete and he’s become the latest Arsenal player to make the move from the Emirates to Eastlands, sorry the ETIHAD Stadium, translated as the UNITED Stadium (snigger). This seems as good a time as any to rewind back to 2009 when Mr Clichy said “I really believe if you are a player who thinks only about money then you could end up at Manchester City” (snigger). Oh the beauty of hindsight. To be fair, things have changed since 2009 and I don’t think you can accuse players of moving to Manchester City in the pursuit of their riches anymore. Sure it gives them a big advantage but now that they have won a trophy and have got themselves into the European Cup, for right or wrong, they now offer sporting opportunities as well as massive wage opportunities. 

News that City have agreed a new multi billion trillion dirham sponsorship deal with Etihad has already exposed how easily it will be for the Sheiks and the Russians of the world to manipulate FIFA’s new Financial Fair Play rules by injecting their cash into their clubs in the guise of “sponsorship”. The catch being that the owners of Etihad are the very same owners of Manchester City. Go financial “fair” play!!

Tottenham and Aston Villa are both digging their heels in over potential sales of key players Luka Modric and Stuart Downing. Both players “are not for sale” which is a similar stance both clubs took to Dimitar Berbatov and Gareth Barry not being for sale, before they were sold....... If anyone fancies a bet that come the first Tottenham v Aston Villa fixture of the season neither player will be playing for their current club, get in touch.  Infact as I type news breaks that Chelsea’s latest 27 million pound offer for Modric is “way below his value” according to Harry Redknapp. Fuck off you saggy faced moron.  ‘Arry naturally provided the quote out of his car window as he left the training ground. It’s hard to describe what an attention seeking media whore that man is. Redknapp and Sky Sports are filth, they deserve each other.

If any Liverpool fans haven't seen this video of the squad on their trip to China it's well worth a watch. It doesn't come as a surprise that the first sight we get of Joe Cole this season is him with his feet up.......eating.

Alex McLeish?!? ALEX MCLEISH!??!

 

The daft twat above the banner needs to take a look in the mirror

I take a break from my summer bitterness detox to try and get my head around the fucking stupidity of Aston Villa.

The selection criteria for the managerial vacancy at Villa must make for an interesting read. If anyone can make sense of their farcical search for their next manager please share it with me. So they begin, apparently, by sounding out Mark Hughes who promptly resigns from Fulham. There was no job offer forthcoming from Randy Lerner who is now chasing everyone from Ancelotti to McClaren to Benitez. The mention of McClaren and Benitez produces a furious reaction from the ever deluded Villa faithful as they even resort to petitions at the horror of appointing managers who have won trophies across Europe. 

So their wacky trail led them to the door of the DW Stadium hoping to get candidate number 4 on the shortlist, Roberto Martinez. Clearly being a man of sense Martinez takes one look at the unfolding farce and laughs in the face of Aston Villa. With due respect to Wigan Athletic, it is a wakeup call to the deluded Villa supporters that even the Wigan manager isn’t interested in joining their club. Martinez would have been a sensible choice for Villa, a young progressive manager who established the foundations which other managers have built on to get Swansea City into the Premier League and has maintained Wigan’s Premier League status for two seasons now. So it was a sensible, understandable decision to approach him, despite his rejection. However, what happened next is bemusing. Randy Lerner has selected Alex McLeish as candidate number FIVE, have you lost count yet? This one really confuses me. It is British football at its worst. As one of the famous “LMA Establishment” walk into a job on the back of their good guy image, all conquering Rule Britannia, let’s share a bottle of wine after the game, media will lick their arse regardless of results, managers gets a top job in spite of their dreadful managerial record. 

How can you go from Roberto Martinez to Alex McLeish? Their two styles are chalk and cheese, black and white, Torres and scoring goals. They are poles apart. Is Lerner just picking names out of a hat? I cannot comprehend why Aston Villa would want to appoint Alex McLeish as manager. Is it worth the inevitable hassle they will receive from their city rivals? For Alex McLeish?  Seriously? Has he not relegated enough clubs in the area from the Premier League already? Of course he is a great choice for the LMA wine club and the British press. After all what are a couple of relegations between one of the precious LMA members? This decision ranks up with Roy Hodgson walking into the Liverpool job last summer. That old fart was found out within 5 months (or in my case, 5 minutes) and McLeish will surely suffer a similar fate.

It’s confuses me how managers like Steve McClaren and Rafa Benitez were laughed off the shortlist for the job whilst fellow managers like Alex McLeish and Mark Hughes are carried into these jobs. I sometimes think I am on a different planet to some people, and let me tell you, it's a better planet! McClaren and Benitez have had more success than most of the LMA wine club put together but they will ever be known as “The Wally With The Brolly” and “The Fat Spanish Waiter” probably because their faces don’t fit down at LMA towers. If only they’d won more SPL titles......

Aston Villa and their supporters are now reaping what they themselves have sewn. You could have had a European Cup winner; instead you’ve got a League Cup winner. Good luck, you’ll probably need it. On the flip side, if I supported Birmingham City I’d be grinning from ear to ear. Maybe next time you get promoted you won’t have a manager in charge that is guaranteed to relegate you.

It’s been suggested to me before that Alex McLeish has a face which looks like it has been boiled. This seems like as good a time as any to conduct an experiment.

Alex McLeish

Some boiled ham

 Yes he does

The T-Oscars

As it's the end of the season I'll take a trip down memory lane and dish out some of these Golden Poulsen's at the 1st (maybe) Annual Toscars

Golden Poulsen's.

It would be easy to name a team of the year full of Man Utd, Man City and Chelsea players (i.e the PFA Team of the Year). The problem with their side is they don’t seem to recognise the achievement of a player given the level of the side they are playing in. For example, Vincent Kompany is a great defender playing in a good side which naturally makes it “easier” to defend. But worthy of being in team of the year? No.  I’ve done this side based on the players individual contribution to their teams performance this season considering the expectation level of the club they play for.

Pepe Reina

It was a three way choice between Reina, Van der Sar and Joe Hart. I chose Reina because I am a bit biased but to be fair the stats are also in his favour. He played every minute of every game this season and was for at least half of that season playing behind a shambolic defence still managing a respectable fourteen clean sheets, the same as Van der Sar. Hart kept eighteen clean sheets but that’s easier when you have Kompany and Lescott infront of you, not Kyrgiakos and Skrtel.

Michel Salgado

There are no outstanding candidates for right back this season. Bacary Sagna seems to be named in most teams of the season but I don’t think any Arsenal defensive players are deserving of recognition after the leads they have thrown away this season. Martin Kelly had a good run of form but his injury cut short his season. Rafael did well for Man Utd but he played in less than half their games. So because Salgado is pushing 40, for him to play 36 games this season deserves a bit of credit.  I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear this news.

Nemanja Vidic

With 36 appearances, 5 goals and a league winners medal Vidic is in every team of the year. It’s the most appearances Vidic has made in a league season since he signed for Man Utd and they only lost three games when he played.

Robert Huth

I chose Robert Huth not just for his Premier League season but his contribution to Stoke’s FA Cup run. He played in 35 league games contributing 6 goals with a further 3 goals in their run to the cup final. 

Leighton Baines

Baines was an obvious choice for left back. He was another player who started in every game this season and managing 5 goals and 11 assists from left back is some achievement. His free kick against Chelsea in the FA Cup was a great highlight of the season for anybody that doesn’t like Chelsea too. 

Scott Parker

If you browse any West Ham forum with the exception of Rob Green, Parker is the only player most of their fans don’t want thrown out the club this summer. If West Ham had signed more Scott Parker’s and less Freddie Ljungberg’s/Kieron Dyer’s then I doubt they would be heading into the Championship. Before his injury West Ham were in decent form, after it is when their no wins in 7 began. Figures.

Luka Modric

In my opinion Modric is one of the best midfielders in the whole league. If any Spurs midfielder should of won the awards Gareth Bale did, it should of been Modric. Only scored 3 goals in 32 starts this season but to quote his manager, “E’zz a top top PLAYA”.

Kevin Nolan

It’s harsh to not put Charlie Adam into a team of the year but I’m going for Kevin Nolan because unlike Adam, his goals are mainly scored from open play. Plus unlike Blackpool, Newcastle didn’t get relegated and Nolan was their top scorer for the season with 12 goals. Without his goals Newcastle probably would have been relegated with or instead of Blackpool. Despite the annoying “chicken dance” – he’s in.

Peter Odemwingie

His transfer from Lokomotiv Moscow to West Brom for 2.5 million is what you call value for money, considering he scored 15 goals through the season. It’s safe to suggest he can take a lot of the credit for West Brom playing in the Premier League next season.

Carlos Tevez

I don’t like the guy, but let’s be honest, without him Man City are absolutely shit. He scored 20 goals from 31 starts this season and carries their side in the same way Torres did for Liverpool for a few years. If he does leave in the summer Man City will struggle to replace him. 

Darren Bent

His £20 million move to Aston Villa in January raised more than a few eyebrows but he was proven right in the end with his new team eventually finishing above his old team Sunderland. If you take the points earned directly from his 11 goals for Villa, they would have been relegated in 19^th on 37 points. I doubt it’s a coincidence that Sunderland went from European challengers to at one stage relegation battlers once he left either.

Manager Of The Season

Fergie

As much as I would like to give it to Kenny Dalglish for taking the team that “wasn’t Roy’s team so none of it is his fault at all, all the nasty Spaniards fault” and proving that myth wrong it has to go to Mr Ferguson. Off the pitch I think he is an arrogant bully, but on it he has done it again. The amount of times he has been written off and then built another title winning side, well it’s annoying! If Tony Pulis had won the FA Cup or Holloway had kept Blackpool up they would of got it. But as it is, there is only one winner, Alex Ferguson. 

Game Of The Season – Tottenham 3-3 Arsenal

Wenger: Upset

It’s a narrow win for one Arsenal collapse over another collapse at Newcastle. But this game was entertaining from start to finish and exposed everything that is right and wrong with Arsenal.

Signing Of The Season – Javier Hernandez

No nickname.

Seen as Odemwingie got into my team of the year, I’ll give this one to the grown man I absolutely refuse to refer to as that Latin nickname. For apparently £8 million he was a bargain and would probably be worth at least double that now. Luis Suarez deserves an honourable mention as he had some massive boots to fill and made every Liverpool fan forget that Spanish twat very quickly. 

Flop Of The Season - Fernando Torres

Tosser

Speaking of that Spanish twat. On account of costing £50 million more, he beats Joe “Messi” Cole.

Most Improved Player Of The Year - Lucas Leiva

From zero to hero. Lucas Leiva. Fact.

The “Did I fucking hear that right?!” Moment of the Season Award

You can really take your pick through any Roy Hodgson press conference for the runners and riders for this. The writers of the This Is Anfield website even coined these as “Royisms” 

Definition: A Royism is an inexplicable decision, quotation or action made by Liverpool manager Roy Hodgson. Royism’s were first detected in July 2010 and have multiplied precariously ever since. Execution of a Royism can leave the subject open to animosity and ridicule.

My personal favourites are:

They'll be a formidable challenge – there's no question about that.

Before the League Cup tie with League Two super power....Northampton Town

That was as good as we have played all season.....  To get a result here – against Everton – would have been Utopia.

After the disgraceful performance at Goodison Park. Utopia? Liverpool won their last season.

It's not as if he'll be playing with a bunch of also-rans. I'm not asking him to play in the reserves.

On asking Torres to play against FC Utrecht, whilst also managing to really motivate the lads in the reserves

I think it would be a sad day for football and for Liverpool if someone who had been brought in with the pomp and circumstance, and the money it took them to release me from my previous contract, and being feted as one of England's best managers – if after eight games people are deciding this guy has got to go.

Ever the modest soul

But the ultimate “Royism” will always be

What do you mean do my methods translate? They have translated from Halmstad to Malmo to Orebo to Neuchatel Xamax to the Swiss national team. So I find the question insulting. To suggest that, because I have moved from one club to another, that the methods which have stood me in good stead for 35 years and made me one of the most respected coaches in Europe don’t suddenly work, is very hard to believe.

That’s quite enough Roy.

However, I will save the blushes of Roy Hodgson because nothing he said will come anywhere close to Sky Sports gobshite, Jamie Redknapp when I heard him talking about the signing of Paul Konchesky at the start of the season. The “Did I fucking hear that right?!” Moment of the Season Award goes to Mr Redknapp for:

"Liverpool fans, who may have been looking for big money signings, might not appreciate the quality of Paul Konchesky. But he's a good signing for Roy Hodgson, who knows what he is getting after they worked together at Fulham last season. I played with Paul at Spurs and he's a superb one-on-one defender, with quick feet and who loves the showdown between full-back and winger. It's hard to find good left backs. He's one of them."

Oh dear.....

Survival Sunday

Unnamed Premier League Footballer in unfortunate seat next to signage clanger

So another manager bites the dust courtesy of Roman Abramovich’s one man crusade for the European Cup. Considering he is so desperate to win the trophy, it begs the question why he has sacked two managers who have won the thing twice? The writing was on the wall for Ancelotti for months until it his sacking was confirmed last night. It should be a shock but with it being Chelsea, it just isn’t. They’ve had more managers in their dugout than Imogen Thomas has had footballers in her bed. Abramovich’s next manager will be his seventh since he took over in 2003, that’s one per year. A sensible owner would surely look to address why despite some serious investment over the last three years they are still reliant upon the spine of the side that won them the title in 2005 and there has no youth development under his entire ownership.  It will be a brave manager to take on the Chelsea job next, where winning the double followed up by a second place finish is not enough and taking on a club which from the outside seems to be run by a mixture of the dressing room and the owner. 

I’d argue that the reason Chelsea haven’t dominated the way that was predicted when Roman started throwing his roubles round is because of him. His interference must be a nightmare for his managers. For Mourinho see Ancelotti and for Shevchenko see Torres. Once Ancelotti had his assistant Ray Wilkins sacked from underneath him by Abramovich he was a dead man walking. If as speculation suggests, perennial failure and toad lookalike Avram Grant returns to Chelsea in some capacity this summer I would advise Chelsea fans take the streets of West London and riot. They wouldn't though because they are so reliant on his money he can do whatever he wants, and he continually does to the detriment of the long term future of their club.

Luckily for Ancelotti, the rest of the football world understands how Chelsea works so his sacking won’t affect his reputation. He was always dignified and took victory and defeat in equal grace and he had a great eyebrow. I remember hearing Chelsea fans wanting him sacked after he lost to St Mourinho’s Inter Milan in the European Cup last season.....he went onto to win a league and cup double. He was always too good for that lot. 

Onto his successor, well there is one obvious and outstanding choice. Even though Marco Van Basten and Guus Hiddink are the favourites I firmly believe Abramovich will see sense and appoint the man with the ego of Mourinho, the face of the back of a bin lorry and the belly of Rick Waller.

 

“I'm not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Internazionale or Real Madrid. It wouldn't be a problem to me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the Double or the league every time. Give me Manchester United or Chelsea and I would do the same, it wouldn't be a problem. It's not where I'm suited to, it's just where I've been for most of the time. It's not a problem to take me into the higher reaches of the Champions League or Premier League and would make my job a lot easier in winning it.”

You need to act fast Roman. It’s only a matter of a time before Barcelona or Real Madrid are banging Big Sam’s door down.

Super-duper-whooper-trooper Survival Sunday came and went and sadly Paul Merson didn’t combust with the excitement. But the trap door did open and Blackpool and Birmingham fell through it with half football club, half soap opera West Ham. Blackpool will be missed, but Birmingham and West Ham will not. Both of those clubs have been run like a circus for years and now they’re paying the price. Alex McLeish has also managed to join relegation specialist Avram Grant in relegating a club from the Premier League twice. Being compared to Avram Grant is not something you want on your C.V. 

Blackpool‘s you score eight we’ll score eighteen mentality is what ultimately cost them their place in the Premier League. The fact they took their survival fight to the final day of the season was a minor miracle itself. If they had cashed in on Charlie Adam in January and bought some defenders they might have stood a chance. If you concede 78 goals over 38 games it doesn’t matter how many you score, you aren’t going to survive. Blackpool did entertain over the season but so did Wigan and Wolves. You couldn’t compare either of their styles to the shuddersome and distressing football served up by Blackburn. Over the course of the season Martinez and McCarthy seemed to grasp the concept of defending, something Blackpool never managed in throwing away 2-0 leads numerous times and both men have been rewarded for a more sensible style of management. I was pleased for Roberto Martinez because while Wigan aren’t everybody’s cup of tea he has kept them up without resorting to toxic football or Allardyce football as it is better known. 

Blackpool and Birmingham’s relegations were for the complete opposite reasons. While Blackpool couldn’t defend, Birmingham couldn’t score, 37 goals from 38 games is poor. If you put Blackpool’s attack and Birmingham’s defence together you’d probably have a half decent side!

Unlike Birmingham and West Ham, Blackpool can go down with as much pride as you can in relegation but at least they gave it a go. It’s unfortunate that the league loses rent a quote Ian Holloway and gains rent a gob Neil Warnock. But I still hold out hope that QPR will perform schadenfreude on Warnock before the start of the season, just for my own amusement. 

It would be churlish of me to not congratulate Manchester United for winning the league. They have been the best side this season and I managed to get this picture of their coronation as champions yesterday. Really pleased for them all.