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| Bill Kenwright: Ambitious |
And breathe. Thankfully the transfer window slammed shut on Wednesday. The only regret I had is that it didn’t slam shut on Jim White’s cretinous face. Sky Sports News coverage of Deadline Day, or DEADLINE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as they call it, was enthralling and to be honest, utterly brilliant. Not for the reasons they were hoping obviously but nevertheless fantastic viewing. It was modern football at its worst. Jim White was off his face acting like a child on Christmas Eve and his co-presenter like a timid shrew scared to interrupt incase he dribbled all over her as Peter Ndlovu completed a shock loan deal to Isthmian Premier giants Shepshed Dynamo and he screamed “MY SOURCES TELL ME”........”AS I UNDERSTAND”, you understand nothing you Scottish twat.
Sky really wheeled out the big guns for the event, the people’s pundits, the men the nation look to in times of crisis, Iain Dowie and Dave Bassett. Four words: sack the pundit booker. I’ve heard more sense out of a postbox than I’ve heard from those two combined. One of the highlights of the evening was Iain Dowie declaring that Owen Hargreaves was and I quote “arguably without doubt the best player at the 2006 World Cup in Germany”. Indeed Iain. Sky’s decision to sit these two on their deadline day panel was bemusing. It was the equivalent of the UN sending Saddam Hussein to replace Colonel Gaddafi. Baffling choices.
Further highlights were provided by north east correspondent David Craig who smugly announced that the FC Twente chairman had informed him that he’d just accepted a bid from Newcastle for Bryan Ruiz. You’ve got to ask yourself why a chairman of a Dutch club would accept a bid for one of his players and straight away think “you know what, I must ring David Craig immediately and tell him about this”. Does anyone believe this shit? I swear they make it up as they go along.
In general this year’s deadline day was textbook. Harry Redknapp car window interview on the way into the training ground (CHECK), Harry Redknapp interview car window interview on the way out of the training ground (CHECK), would it surprise anyone if it turned out Harry Redknapp just drives round the block for the whole of deadline day just waiting for a man with a camera? Liverpool player acting like a dick to force a move through to Chelsea (CHELSEA), Sky linking a player with Spurs who they won’t be signing in a million years (KAKA/CHECK), supposed helicopter on standby somewhere (CHECK), hoardes of odious children acting like scum outside training grounds across the country (CHECK).
There was a new element to this window though, Arsene Wenger’s Supermarket Sweep, a last minute trolley dash across Europe to try and recover from a faltering start to the season. Time will tell whether Wenger’s panic buys will work or not but one thing is certain Arsenal have downgraded this summer. Their squad is weaker than it was in May and they’ve still managed to spend £56,000,000 and somehow managed to add permacrocks Arteta and Benayoun to their already permacrock filled squad. Arsenal’s wacky Wednesday was best described by journalist Paul Hayward when he described how Wenger had turned into “Harry Redknapp with an economics degree”.
The domestic season takes a break this weekend as Ingurland are in action. So if you’re looking for me I’ll be sticking pins in my eyes and lying in the middle of the M57. Cheers.
