Why Capello Is Right To Reinstate John Terry as England Captain.

 Pre-Op transexual John Terry

So Big J.T, England's Braveheart himself has got his armband back. Fabio Capello has come in for heavy criticism for his U-turn but I think it's a great decision. There's no better figure than John Terry to lead the England team, he sums them up brilliantly the grubby little turd. The England teamsheet reads like the agenda for a day at the Crown Court there is that many arrests and convictions against the players names. So to have the King of the self serving morons leading the way, makes perfect sense. There was a rumour Capello delivered the news to Terry by a note left on the pillow of every WAG across the nation, he's sure to find it eventually.

It's a bizarre move from Capello to appoint a captain who openly led a revolt against him in South Africa but I'm at the stage where I expect nothing less from Ingurland and the F.A. They are a joke from top to bottom. Terry undermined Capello at the World Cup more than the Italians dismal tactics and dreadful football. But now he is seen to of served his "punishment" and is back in charge of the dressing room. It really is another nail in the coffin of morality.

Terry loves to play the big man, loyal to club and country but he's a fraud. Mr Chelsea openly invited the interest of Man City in order to squeeze more of Roman's Roubels into his last contract. He pimped out his Wembley box for his own financial gratification until he was caught and did likewise with tours round Chelsea's training ground. His dad's a drug dealer, his mum's a shoplifter and his brother was largely at fault for the suicide of one of his friends. What a family. So Fabio, well done for picking the perfect man to lead a nation as crass as England.

The whole episode justifies exactly why I love seeing England lose. Call it bitterness, because that's probably what it is. I'd rather have no part in supporting a nation which thinks it has a divine right to win each tournament it enters. Between the deluded fans and the agenda driven media they are a laughing stock and long may it continue.

HODGSON FOR ENGLAND

The Chelsea Professionals

Neil Warnock: Starring in 1993 epic "Mrs Doubtfire"

Fernando Torres was quoted this week as saying, "there are more personal relationships and jokes between the players than there were at Liverpool. Everything was much more serious there. Here, you don’t have to prove you are a professional, it is assumed." I can't think of a bigger insult than being accused of being less professional than Chelsea. It would be like Cheryl Cole telling you that you can't sing or Piers Morgan telling you that you are a waste of space.

So Chelsea have a more professional attitude do they Fernando? I find it hard to believe as half the time it's hard to tell where the Sky One classic "Dream Team" ends and Chelsea FC begins. Between air rifle antics, sex texting, sleeping with teammates partners and being banned from driving it's easy to see where Fernando is coming from..... What a moron. While Torres is spending time talking to worlds press John Terry will be tucking Mrs Fernando into bed at night in some kind of "PROFESSIONAL" initiation.

In a sense I'm glad Torres came out with such a ludicrous statement. If at Chelsea you are assumed to be professional, does that means you can sit back, pick up your massive wage and underperform/sulk/moan (see Drogba/Anelka/Torres) and live off your past reputation. Does he mean that everyday you have to go into training at Liverpool and prove yourself? If so,  well you hit the nail on the head El Ninny.

Torres plays for Chelsea now, but in each interview he gives he makes some noise about Liverpool. After Suarez's display last week I imagine most Liverpool fans have moved on from Torres but these pathetic interviews make me think Torres hasn't done the same. You are a rentboy now Fernando, act like one. Take your money, kiss the badge and seduce Petr Cech's wife.

While I'm on the subject of prize tossers, Neil Warnock. A man so enraged by West Ham not being deducted points back in 2007 because of the Carlos Tevez/Third Party Ownership affair he still moans to this day how Sheffield United were robbed of their Premier League place. How brilliantly ironic then, that four years on, it is Warnock's QPR who are at the centre of their own third party ownership scandal over the signing of Alejandro Faurlin.

Strangely though, this time it's different according to Warnock, "this is nothing like the Tevez situation". Of course not Colin Wanker......(a great anagram of the name Neil Warnock for those who don't know). It's not like Colin to be an outrageous hypocrite, I remember his rage at Liverpool resting 10 players against Fulham which he blamed for their relegation, despite him doing the same thing at Old Trafford a few weeks earlier.

Nothing personal against QPR but to see Warnock's side deducted points now would be fantastic, and justice against a man who is such a prat he's had it coming for years. I would pay a serious amount of money for a front row seat at the press conference that proceeded that points deduction to laugh in his face. The Premier League would be a better place without Neil Warnock, so I implore the Football League to impose a tremendous points deduction.

Bad week in the Wenger house. Draw with Sunderland, go out the Champions League then get dumped out the FA Cup at Old Trafford. It gave the Wenger snipers another chance to sharpen their knives. But on Tuesday it could of been very different if it wasn't for a piece of Howard Webb style refereeing. For me, Wenger got his tactics spot on. But because he dared to go to the precious holier than thou Barcelona and try to stop them playing he was slaughtered. Last season he did the opposite and we all remember what happened after that, he was also slaughtered. Until Van Persie was sent off Arsenal had done a good job keeping out Barcelona, had managed to cancel out the away goal and we're going through. Playing against Barcelona with eleven men is hard enough, with ten it's impossible. And don't forget, if Bendtner hadn't miscontrolled Wilshere's pass late on Arsenal were through, fair to say Van Persie probably would of scored.

Moral of the story: Only Rafa Benitez knows how to win at the Nou Camp.

Green and Gold, You'll Do What Your Told

Liverpool - United

On the back of dropping points to two sides who were in the relegation zone, Liverpool go and thump the league leaders. That is this season for you.

Dirk Kuyt had one of those days which makes me feel bad for all the times I've slated him. The truth to Dirk Kuyt is, on the big occasions he'll step up. He'll chase everything, leave his heart and soul on the pitch and score massive goals. Kuyt's problem comes in games where Liverpool struggle to break down a stubborn Stoke or Bolton defence for example, because he isn't the sort of player who is going to create anything. But stick him on a penalty in the Derby or upfront against Man United and as proved yesterday he won't let you down. It's just hard to remember that when you're watching him run around in treacle on a freezing night at the Britannia! The biggest insult I could pay Kuyt is that even I would of backed myself to score that hat-trick. It's not often that a player scores a hat-trick in the biggest fixture of the season and faces competition for man of the match but yesterday Kuyt did. Nani could easily of pipped him to it for his assist for the second......No, Suarez was magnificent. His part in the first goal was his "Torres away at Marseille" moment. It's refreshing to see a player upfront who doesn't look as sour as that miserable bastard did for about a year.

Nani is the real life boy who cried wolf. The lad has spent the last three seasons feigning injuries and trying to get opposition players booked. So to see his reaction to Carragher's challenge was priceless. His desperate pleas with Phil Dowd and the tears that followed were brilliant, potentially Oscar winning. Nani had every right to be angry with the challenge it was reckless and was a red card every day of the week but there was a sense of karma about it after Rooney's great escape at Wigan the previous weekend. If Carragher's challenge was reckless and dangerous, Rafael's a few minutes later was malicious and stupid.

Tough day for Fergie but even a Knight has to bow to a King ;)

Barcelona v Arsenal

My football predictions are a joke. Recently I tipped Burnley to beat West Ham, they lost 5-1. I questionned why Roy Hodgson wasn't being linked with the West Brom job, five days later, West Brom appointed pigeon features. Then I backed Arsenal to win the Carling Cup, they lost to Birmingham.

That said, I think Arsenal are being written off a bit too easily tomorrow. Although Barcelona have still been rolling out the victories since they lost at Arsenal anyone who watched their games with Athletic Bilbao and Zaragoza will know they aren't in the form they were a few weeks ago. Without Pique and Puyol for the game Arsenal have always got a chance with their attacking style especially if Van Persie makes a miraculous recovery.

So that will be Barca 10-0.

Going Down

Sticking with the predictions, the bottom of the table is tighter than Bill Kenwrights wallet. A few games back West Ham looked doomed, now they are showing the form of champions, Hodgsons somehow got West Brom picking up points and even Wolves look half decent. All of a sudden teams like Stoke and Blackburn are in deep trouble as well. I'm tipping Birmingham to do a Middlesbrough circa 1997. Two cup finals and a relegation. McLeish has already took them down once and they don't score goals, same as Wigan. May as well do a tombola for the third side to go down. As a total neutral I'm gonna say Everton......

NOTE TO CHELSEA AND THEIR SUPPORTERS: STOP TRYING TO VALIDATE YOUR EXISTENCE BY TRYING TO CREATE FAUX RIVALRIES WITH CLUBS WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU. BENITEZ V MOURINHO WAS THE RIVALRY NOT LIVERPOOL V CHELSEA. NO ONE NORTH OF WATFORD CARES ABOUT YOU.

"FACK YAW ISTOREEEE WE'VE GOT FURNANDOUGHHHHHH"

SHUT UP CHELSEA.

Ashley Cole: Pox On Society

 

Same to you Cashley

Ashley Cole

So Ashley Cole has now supposedly added 'gun crime' to his list of indiscretions. The most damning thing about Cole's latest misdemeanour is that when most people heard he had shot a Chelsea intern their reaction wasn't, "WHAT?! ASHLEY COLE'S SHOT SOMEONE!?" it was "Ah, Cole's shot someone....". There aren't enough derogatory words on this planet to describe Ashley Cole. He is a complete waste of oxygen and an abysmal human being. The sooner he and his plastic ex wife disappear into the huge vacuous OK magazine hole that morons like them have created the better. The world would be a much better place.

Cole's defence of the alleged shooting incident was that he didn't realise the air rifle was loaded. Shall you tell him that that COMPLETELY misses the point or shall I? Two questions Cashley. Why do you have an air rifle? And why did you take it to the training ground? Perhaps he was doing some target practice with Fernando Torres? He sure needs it.

Absolutely repugnant individual. Greedy swine.

The FA

People were surprised that Wayne Rooney wasn't punished for his elbow on James McCarthy on Saturday. I was more surprised that the FA didn't punish McCarthy for headbutting Rooney's elbow.

Most people have jumped on the opportunity to claim "oh it's Man Utd again, conspiracy, fix, blah blah". As a Liverpool fan I would love to jump onboard that bandwagon but that really isn't the issue here. Yes it's United who have benefitted this time, but next time it will be a different club. The problem here is the FA and their non sensical disciplinary process. Referees can gets decisions wrong (or in Clattenburg's case, everything wrong), they don't have the benefit of Sky's 100 different camera angles and countless replays. What is unacceptable is that when they do, instead of seeing justice done the great cover up begins. It's not players who undermine referee's it's the FA.

It's a bad cliche, but if you were to walk down a street and elbow somebody as Rooney did at the weekend you would be punished. Why is it when players do this on a football pitch the rules of society change?

Players are never accountable for their actions. Cole wasn't for shooting someone and Rooney wasn't for assaulting someone. And this is just in one footballing weekend. And people wonder why I fucking hate England.

Sky Sports News

Has anybody seen the new feature on Sky where they roll out various pundits to talk us through tactics. Using some obscenely large TV screen, esteemed footballing brains such as Tony Cottee, Scott Minto and Iain Dowie talk tactics. Explaining to us mere mortals how football tactics work. The day I pay attention to anything any of the above say will be the day I die. They would be better bringing on the fucking Animals of Farthing Wood to provide us with analysis. The only time I would take advice from Iain Dowie is if I wanted to know how to get a team relegated or how to be offensively ugly.

Bundesliga

A good friend of mine has been promoting the Bundesliga to me for years, while I've always held a general interest I'd never watched a lot of it. If you have ESPN and don't watch it you don't know what you are missing. On Saturday Bayern Munich v Borussia Dortmund was live and it was probably the best game I've seen this season. It's a league which isn't dominated by one team. There isn't many leagues that have had 5 different winners in the last 10 years.

Dortmund have a couple of players to watch out for Mario Götze and Mats Hummels. I haven't seen a lot of them but from the bit I have, I'd be surprised if they didn't become massive names within a couple of years.

A few weeks ago I attended a German game for the first time, Hertha Berlin v Union Berlin. The attendance was 74,000 for a game outside the top division. Imagine that at the equivalant level of English football. I doubt Scunthorpe v Hull would attract 74 people! If you're ever going to Germany, I'd advise making time for a bit of Bundesliga action. Miles better than the Premier League, and that's a fact.