The Chelsea Professionals

Neil Warnock: Starring in 1993 epic "Mrs Doubtfire"

Fernando Torres was quoted this week as saying, "there are more personal relationships and jokes between the players than there were at Liverpool. Everything was much more serious there. Here, you don’t have to prove you are a professional, it is assumed." I can't think of a bigger insult than being accused of being less professional than Chelsea. It would be like Cheryl Cole telling you that you can't sing or Piers Morgan telling you that you are a waste of space.

So Chelsea have a more professional attitude do they Fernando? I find it hard to believe as half the time it's hard to tell where the Sky One classic "Dream Team" ends and Chelsea FC begins. Between air rifle antics, sex texting, sleeping with teammates partners and being banned from driving it's easy to see where Fernando is coming from..... What a moron. While Torres is spending time talking to worlds press John Terry will be tucking Mrs Fernando into bed at night in some kind of "PROFESSIONAL" initiation.

In a sense I'm glad Torres came out with such a ludicrous statement. If at Chelsea you are assumed to be professional, does that means you can sit back, pick up your massive wage and underperform/sulk/moan (see Drogba/Anelka/Torres) and live off your past reputation. Does he mean that everyday you have to go into training at Liverpool and prove yourself? If so,  well you hit the nail on the head El Ninny.

Torres plays for Chelsea now, but in each interview he gives he makes some noise about Liverpool. After Suarez's display last week I imagine most Liverpool fans have moved on from Torres but these pathetic interviews make me think Torres hasn't done the same. You are a rentboy now Fernando, act like one. Take your money, kiss the badge and seduce Petr Cech's wife.

While I'm on the subject of prize tossers, Neil Warnock. A man so enraged by West Ham not being deducted points back in 2007 because of the Carlos Tevez/Third Party Ownership affair he still moans to this day how Sheffield United were robbed of their Premier League place. How brilliantly ironic then, that four years on, it is Warnock's QPR who are at the centre of their own third party ownership scandal over the signing of Alejandro Faurlin.

Strangely though, this time it's different according to Warnock, "this is nothing like the Tevez situation". Of course not Colin Wanker......(a great anagram of the name Neil Warnock for those who don't know). It's not like Colin to be an outrageous hypocrite, I remember his rage at Liverpool resting 10 players against Fulham which he blamed for their relegation, despite him doing the same thing at Old Trafford a few weeks earlier.

Nothing personal against QPR but to see Warnock's side deducted points now would be fantastic, and justice against a man who is such a prat he's had it coming for years. I would pay a serious amount of money for a front row seat at the press conference that proceeded that points deduction to laugh in his face. The Premier League would be a better place without Neil Warnock, so I implore the Football League to impose a tremendous points deduction.

Bad week in the Wenger house. Draw with Sunderland, go out the Champions League then get dumped out the FA Cup at Old Trafford. It gave the Wenger snipers another chance to sharpen their knives. But on Tuesday it could of been very different if it wasn't for a piece of Howard Webb style refereeing. For me, Wenger got his tactics spot on. But because he dared to go to the precious holier than thou Barcelona and try to stop them playing he was slaughtered. Last season he did the opposite and we all remember what happened after that, he was also slaughtered. Until Van Persie was sent off Arsenal had done a good job keeping out Barcelona, had managed to cancel out the away goal and we're going through. Playing against Barcelona with eleven men is hard enough, with ten it's impossible. And don't forget, if Bendtner hadn't miscontrolled Wilshere's pass late on Arsenal were through, fair to say Van Persie probably would of scored.

Moral of the story: Only Rafa Benitez knows how to win at the Nou Camp.