Why Capello Is Right To Reinstate John Terry as England Captain.

 Pre-Op transexual John Terry

So Big J.T, England's Braveheart himself has got his armband back. Fabio Capello has come in for heavy criticism for his U-turn but I think it's a great decision. There's no better figure than John Terry to lead the England team, he sums them up brilliantly the grubby little turd. The England teamsheet reads like the agenda for a day at the Crown Court there is that many arrests and convictions against the players names. So to have the King of the self serving morons leading the way, makes perfect sense. There was a rumour Capello delivered the news to Terry by a note left on the pillow of every WAG across the nation, he's sure to find it eventually.

It's a bizarre move from Capello to appoint a captain who openly led a revolt against him in South Africa but I'm at the stage where I expect nothing less from Ingurland and the F.A. They are a joke from top to bottom. Terry undermined Capello at the World Cup more than the Italians dismal tactics and dreadful football. But now he is seen to of served his "punishment" and is back in charge of the dressing room. It really is another nail in the coffin of morality.

Terry loves to play the big man, loyal to club and country but he's a fraud. Mr Chelsea openly invited the interest of Man City in order to squeeze more of Roman's Roubels into his last contract. He pimped out his Wembley box for his own financial gratification until he was caught and did likewise with tours round Chelsea's training ground. His dad's a drug dealer, his mum's a shoplifter and his brother was largely at fault for the suicide of one of his friends. What a family. So Fabio, well done for picking the perfect man to lead a nation as crass as England.

The whole episode justifies exactly why I love seeing England lose. Call it bitterness, because that's probably what it is. I'd rather have no part in supporting a nation which thinks it has a divine right to win each tournament it enters. Between the deluded fans and the agenda driven media they are a laughing stock and long may it continue.

HODGSON FOR ENGLAND

The Chelsea Professionals

Neil Warnock: Starring in 1993 epic "Mrs Doubtfire"

Fernando Torres was quoted this week as saying, "there are more personal relationships and jokes between the players than there were at Liverpool. Everything was much more serious there. Here, you don’t have to prove you are a professional, it is assumed." I can't think of a bigger insult than being accused of being less professional than Chelsea. It would be like Cheryl Cole telling you that you can't sing or Piers Morgan telling you that you are a waste of space.

So Chelsea have a more professional attitude do they Fernando? I find it hard to believe as half the time it's hard to tell where the Sky One classic "Dream Team" ends and Chelsea FC begins. Between air rifle antics, sex texting, sleeping with teammates partners and being banned from driving it's easy to see where Fernando is coming from..... What a moron. While Torres is spending time talking to worlds press John Terry will be tucking Mrs Fernando into bed at night in some kind of "PROFESSIONAL" initiation.

In a sense I'm glad Torres came out with such a ludicrous statement. If at Chelsea you are assumed to be professional, does that means you can sit back, pick up your massive wage and underperform/sulk/moan (see Drogba/Anelka/Torres) and live off your past reputation. Does he mean that everyday you have to go into training at Liverpool and prove yourself? If so,  well you hit the nail on the head El Ninny.

Torres plays for Chelsea now, but in each interview he gives he makes some noise about Liverpool. After Suarez's display last week I imagine most Liverpool fans have moved on from Torres but these pathetic interviews make me think Torres hasn't done the same. You are a rentboy now Fernando, act like one. Take your money, kiss the badge and seduce Petr Cech's wife.

While I'm on the subject of prize tossers, Neil Warnock. A man so enraged by West Ham not being deducted points back in 2007 because of the Carlos Tevez/Third Party Ownership affair he still moans to this day how Sheffield United were robbed of their Premier League place. How brilliantly ironic then, that four years on, it is Warnock's QPR who are at the centre of their own third party ownership scandal over the signing of Alejandro Faurlin.

Strangely though, this time it's different according to Warnock, "this is nothing like the Tevez situation". Of course not Colin Wanker......(a great anagram of the name Neil Warnock for those who don't know). It's not like Colin to be an outrageous hypocrite, I remember his rage at Liverpool resting 10 players against Fulham which he blamed for their relegation, despite him doing the same thing at Old Trafford a few weeks earlier.

Nothing personal against QPR but to see Warnock's side deducted points now would be fantastic, and justice against a man who is such a prat he's had it coming for years. I would pay a serious amount of money for a front row seat at the press conference that proceeded that points deduction to laugh in his face. The Premier League would be a better place without Neil Warnock, so I implore the Football League to impose a tremendous points deduction.

Bad week in the Wenger house. Draw with Sunderland, go out the Champions League then get dumped out the FA Cup at Old Trafford. It gave the Wenger snipers another chance to sharpen their knives. But on Tuesday it could of been very different if it wasn't for a piece of Howard Webb style refereeing. For me, Wenger got his tactics spot on. But because he dared to go to the precious holier than thou Barcelona and try to stop them playing he was slaughtered. Last season he did the opposite and we all remember what happened after that, he was also slaughtered. Until Van Persie was sent off Arsenal had done a good job keeping out Barcelona, had managed to cancel out the away goal and we're going through. Playing against Barcelona with eleven men is hard enough, with ten it's impossible. And don't forget, if Bendtner hadn't miscontrolled Wilshere's pass late on Arsenal were through, fair to say Van Persie probably would of scored.

Moral of the story: Only Rafa Benitez knows how to win at the Nou Camp.

Green and Gold, You'll Do What Your Told

Liverpool - United

On the back of dropping points to two sides who were in the relegation zone, Liverpool go and thump the league leaders. That is this season for you.

Dirk Kuyt had one of those days which makes me feel bad for all the times I've slated him. The truth to Dirk Kuyt is, on the big occasions he'll step up. He'll chase everything, leave his heart and soul on the pitch and score massive goals. Kuyt's problem comes in games where Liverpool struggle to break down a stubborn Stoke or Bolton defence for example, because he isn't the sort of player who is going to create anything. But stick him on a penalty in the Derby or upfront against Man United and as proved yesterday he won't let you down. It's just hard to remember that when you're watching him run around in treacle on a freezing night at the Britannia! The biggest insult I could pay Kuyt is that even I would of backed myself to score that hat-trick. It's not often that a player scores a hat-trick in the biggest fixture of the season and faces competition for man of the match but yesterday Kuyt did. Nani could easily of pipped him to it for his assist for the second......No, Suarez was magnificent. His part in the first goal was his "Torres away at Marseille" moment. It's refreshing to see a player upfront who doesn't look as sour as that miserable bastard did for about a year.

Nani is the real life boy who cried wolf. The lad has spent the last three seasons feigning injuries and trying to get opposition players booked. So to see his reaction to Carragher's challenge was priceless. His desperate pleas with Phil Dowd and the tears that followed were brilliant, potentially Oscar winning. Nani had every right to be angry with the challenge it was reckless and was a red card every day of the week but there was a sense of karma about it after Rooney's great escape at Wigan the previous weekend. If Carragher's challenge was reckless and dangerous, Rafael's a few minutes later was malicious and stupid.

Tough day for Fergie but even a Knight has to bow to a King ;)

Barcelona v Arsenal

My football predictions are a joke. Recently I tipped Burnley to beat West Ham, they lost 5-1. I questionned why Roy Hodgson wasn't being linked with the West Brom job, five days later, West Brom appointed pigeon features. Then I backed Arsenal to win the Carling Cup, they lost to Birmingham.

That said, I think Arsenal are being written off a bit too easily tomorrow. Although Barcelona have still been rolling out the victories since they lost at Arsenal anyone who watched their games with Athletic Bilbao and Zaragoza will know they aren't in the form they were a few weeks ago. Without Pique and Puyol for the game Arsenal have always got a chance with their attacking style especially if Van Persie makes a miraculous recovery.

So that will be Barca 10-0.

Going Down

Sticking with the predictions, the bottom of the table is tighter than Bill Kenwrights wallet. A few games back West Ham looked doomed, now they are showing the form of champions, Hodgsons somehow got West Brom picking up points and even Wolves look half decent. All of a sudden teams like Stoke and Blackburn are in deep trouble as well. I'm tipping Birmingham to do a Middlesbrough circa 1997. Two cup finals and a relegation. McLeish has already took them down once and they don't score goals, same as Wigan. May as well do a tombola for the third side to go down. As a total neutral I'm gonna say Everton......

NOTE TO CHELSEA AND THEIR SUPPORTERS: STOP TRYING TO VALIDATE YOUR EXISTENCE BY TRYING TO CREATE FAUX RIVALRIES WITH CLUBS WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU. BENITEZ V MOURINHO WAS THE RIVALRY NOT LIVERPOOL V CHELSEA. NO ONE NORTH OF WATFORD CARES ABOUT YOU.

"FACK YAW ISTOREEEE WE'VE GOT FURNANDOUGHHHHHH"

SHUT UP CHELSEA.

Ashley Cole: Pox On Society

 

Same to you Cashley

Ashley Cole

So Ashley Cole has now supposedly added 'gun crime' to his list of indiscretions. The most damning thing about Cole's latest misdemeanour is that when most people heard he had shot a Chelsea intern their reaction wasn't, "WHAT?! ASHLEY COLE'S SHOT SOMEONE!?" it was "Ah, Cole's shot someone....". There aren't enough derogatory words on this planet to describe Ashley Cole. He is a complete waste of oxygen and an abysmal human being. The sooner he and his plastic ex wife disappear into the huge vacuous OK magazine hole that morons like them have created the better. The world would be a much better place.

Cole's defence of the alleged shooting incident was that he didn't realise the air rifle was loaded. Shall you tell him that that COMPLETELY misses the point or shall I? Two questions Cashley. Why do you have an air rifle? And why did you take it to the training ground? Perhaps he was doing some target practice with Fernando Torres? He sure needs it.

Absolutely repugnant individual. Greedy swine.

The FA

People were surprised that Wayne Rooney wasn't punished for his elbow on James McCarthy on Saturday. I was more surprised that the FA didn't punish McCarthy for headbutting Rooney's elbow.

Most people have jumped on the opportunity to claim "oh it's Man Utd again, conspiracy, fix, blah blah". As a Liverpool fan I would love to jump onboard that bandwagon but that really isn't the issue here. Yes it's United who have benefitted this time, but next time it will be a different club. The problem here is the FA and their non sensical disciplinary process. Referees can gets decisions wrong (or in Clattenburg's case, everything wrong), they don't have the benefit of Sky's 100 different camera angles and countless replays. What is unacceptable is that when they do, instead of seeing justice done the great cover up begins. It's not players who undermine referee's it's the FA.

It's a bad cliche, but if you were to walk down a street and elbow somebody as Rooney did at the weekend you would be punished. Why is it when players do this on a football pitch the rules of society change?

Players are never accountable for their actions. Cole wasn't for shooting someone and Rooney wasn't for assaulting someone. And this is just in one footballing weekend. And people wonder why I fucking hate England.

Sky Sports News

Has anybody seen the new feature on Sky where they roll out various pundits to talk us through tactics. Using some obscenely large TV screen, esteemed footballing brains such as Tony Cottee, Scott Minto and Iain Dowie talk tactics. Explaining to us mere mortals how football tactics work. The day I pay attention to anything any of the above say will be the day I die. They would be better bringing on the fucking Animals of Farthing Wood to provide us with analysis. The only time I would take advice from Iain Dowie is if I wanted to know how to get a team relegated or how to be offensively ugly.

Bundesliga

A good friend of mine has been promoting the Bundesliga to me for years, while I've always held a general interest I'd never watched a lot of it. If you have ESPN and don't watch it you don't know what you are missing. On Saturday Bayern Munich v Borussia Dortmund was live and it was probably the best game I've seen this season. It's a league which isn't dominated by one team. There isn't many leagues that have had 5 different winners in the last 10 years.

Dortmund have a couple of players to watch out for Mario Götze and Mats Hummels. I haven't seen a lot of them but from the bit I have, I'd be surprised if they didn't become massive names within a couple of years.

A few weeks ago I attended a German game for the first time, Hertha Berlin v Union Berlin. The attendance was 74,000 for a game outside the top division. Imagine that at the equivalant level of English football. I doubt Scunthorpe v Hull would attract 74 people! If you're ever going to Germany, I'd advise making time for a bit of Bundesliga action. Miles better than the Premier League, and that's a fact.

Goodbye Cecil

 

Roy Hodgson's hair: A tasty treat for birds?

Christian 'Cecil' Purslow

Today was a great occasion for Liverpool, Europa League progress and the removal of Christian 'Cecil' Purslow. A real cretin. He was the final member on the 'Infamous Five' which also included Hicks, Gillett, Broughton and Roy Hodgson. A fivesome who reeked more havoc at Anfield than any Man United or Everton fan could of even dreamed of.

Purslow was more concerned with making himself Mr Popular with the Liverpool players than making sensible decisions at a time when Liverpool needed nothing more. His ego overruled his head. His treatment of Rafa Benitez, by sacking him while he was on holiday was shameful. The repercussions of his attempt at real life Championship Manager in the summer of 2010 are still being felt. It was Purslow who rejected Benitez's plan to sign Van Der Vaart this summer, and go with his own instinct to sign Joe Cole (I hate the phrase 'his legs have gone' but Joe Cole's really have). And his most damaging act of all was to reject Dalglish's offer to take over from Benitez and go for his own man, The Pigeon himself, Roy Hodgson. Where would Liverpool be now if Cecil had given Dalglish the job back in July. I'd hazard a guess they would be a lot closer to/in the top four.

Cecil deserves a small amount of praise for his work in eventually stabbing Hicks and Gillett in the back, but I stress a SMALL amount. He's role in setting Liverpool back at least a couple of years, contributing to the exit of Torres and possibly Reina won't ever be forgiven. Still a snake, glad he's gone. Fuck off Cecil and don't come back.

Wenger

Wenger can be a clown sometimes, but I hope the clown wins the Carling Cup on Sunday. It's a fantastic opportunity to never have to hear the words "yeah but he hasn't won anything for years" again. Wenger's policy should be admired. Look at it this way, if come Sunday, Wenger named:

Szczesny, Eboue, Squillaci, Djourou, Clichy, Diaby, Song, Wilshere, Chamakh, Bendtner, Van Persie.

That's a side which should beat Birmingham. Now consider that team has been put together for £9 million. Just a fraction more than what Man Utd paid for Bebe! That's good work Arsene. Wenger can be a prize prat at times but he's a great manager who has never sacrified his beliefs despite heavy criticism. That deserves some silverware as a reward.

Joe Cole

Claudio Ranieri, Jose Mourinho, Sven Goran Eriksson, Avram Grant, Luis Scolari, Steve McClaren, Carlo Ancelotti and Kenny Dalglish. That's eight managers who between them have won almost every major competition possible. And that is eight managers who refuse to put any faith in Joe Cole. Since leaving West Ham, Cole has failed to establish himself in any managers plans. And now at Liverpool he is floundering. Floundering on £90,000 per week supposedly. Yet, you still hear almost every English pundit calling for him to be given a chance. His chance has passed for me. He is living off his name now and not his talent. When he does start a game he looks a mile off the pace and like he needs oxygen by the half time whistle. I'm not a fan and surely all those managers can't be wrong?

And.....

Heard this the other day:

Paul Konchesky has moved to a club that has won the European Cup. Fernando Torres hasn't.
Paul Konchesky has scored a goal for his new club. Fernando Torres hasn't.

Words Fail Me UEFA

 

Platini: Cock

Ah UEFA, an organisation so obsessed by money I've no doubt it's board members would sell their own grandparents if they knew they could make a decent profit. Today they released the ticket prices for the Wembley final of this years Champions League final on May 28th. They are staggering. This year a "Category 1" ticket will set back the ordinary fan, £300. If that's a little "steep" for your ordinary fan, don't worry, you can opt for UEFA's 'cheapest' option instead, only a paltry £150. This isn't inflation, it's daylight robbery. If you are lucky enough to actually come through the lottery of the ticket draw, you can then add a £26 ADMINISTRATION fee on top of your £300 and lucky you! The ticket is yours. An absolute disgrace.

Michel Platini and his UEFA Merry Men may as well be wearing masks and have swag bags over their shoulders. Incase Platini ever gets hold of this I would like to say, you Mr Platini are a disgrace, a crook and a parasite on our game. On moving the final to a Saturday evening Platini said, "I also hope that playing the Uefa Champions League final on a Saturday will give families, especially children, the chance to see the game." Well this year, those ever caring UEFA delegates have allocated 250 tickets for those children to watch their final. 250. Considering they wanted to give families the chance to attend the final, assuming a typical family consists of 2 adults and 2 children, a night at Wembley could set you back as much as £1200.  We all know the reason they moved the final was for commercial purposes, if you think you are fooling anyone Platini, you ain't.

Wembley will have a reduced allocation of 86,000 for the final, with each participating finalist allocated 25,000 tickets to give to their fans. With experience I can tell you that will not happen. Both clubs will help themselves to about 10,000 tickets to give to sponsors, players, ex players, staff, tea lady etc. A further 11,000 tickets are available through a "UEFA Ballot". This is where it gets really funny. The other 25,000 tickets will then go to the, and I quote, "European Football Family". Well, where do I start? European. Football. Family. THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST. 25,000 tickets which could go to real fans who have attended all the games leading upto the showpiece final, the people who actually deserved their place there instead will end up in the hands of UEFA's odious pals. Just so that some suit from Heineken or Sony can round up his fat cat pals and go on his jollies to London for the weekend. And that is what UEFA are all about. They are as corrupt an organisation as you could ever have the misfortune to come across.

The highlight of todays press release is saved for the final line, without a hint of irony.....

"UEFA also encourages fans not to be lured into deals with touts who not only demand exorbitant prices but are often not in possession of the tickets they purport to have for sale."

So basically, don't enter UEFA's ballot......


http://www.uefa.com/uefa/mediaservices/mediareleases/newsid=1595715.html

The Premier League v Leyton Orient

SHAMELESS

The Olympic Stadium Debacle

If one news story summed up everything that is wrong with modern top flight football it is the fight for the keys to the Olympic Stadium after the 2012 games. It was another example of the Premier League trampling all over anything that stands in its way.  The Olympic Park Legacy Committee have chosen West Ham as their preferred bidder. In truth, it became an obvious choice as Tottenhams idea to raise it to the ground after 4 weeks of use in the summer of 2012 has to go down as one of the most ridiculous ideas ever proposed. Tottenham might be the losers in the battle for the stadium, but the real losers in the whole saga come from two divisions below the Premier League, Leyton Orient. West Ham may as well be building a new stadium right on top of Brisbane Road (the home of Leyton Orient). Does anyone care? Certainly not the Premier League, now they have got a brand new sparkling stadium they can show off to the world. But the Premier League don't care about anything that doesn't affect them. Infact, they are contravening their own rules which state the Premier League Board shall only grant consent to a member Club to move to another ground which 'would not adversely affect Clubs having their registered grounds in the immediate vicinity of the proposed location'. Quite how what West Ham are doing doesn't fall into this category defies belief. West Ham can't fill Upton Park, which holds 25,000 LESS than the Olympic Stadium will. And how will they attract people to fill these 25,000 empty seats. Ah of course, they will steam roll right over Leyton Orient trying to tempt their fans into the "promise land" of the Premier League with reduced ticket prices and "community schemes". Best league in the world? Do me a favour.

Liverpool v Wigan

I hate international football. I hate international football friendlies even more. After the high of beating Chelsea, the majority of our players disappeared to every corner of the world. And for what? So Fabio Capello can try out Scott Parker and Ashley Young when I can guarantee come the next championship they will be nowhere near the starting 11. As a result the quality of football in the Premier League yesterday suffered. No more so than at Anfield. The players looked tired and too many of them were sloppy. Gerrard and Agger were badly missed and switching back to a 4-4-2 didn't really work for us. That said, Wigan deserved their point. Dalglish throwing Milan Jovanovic on for a rare cameo was strange, the Serb has got all the qualities of Igor Biscan  minus the cult hero status. The words "headless chicken" spring to mind. Even on a free transfer he seems embarrassingly overpriced. I heard the result described a few times as one step forward, two steps back, it isnt. 13 points out of the last 15 is a great return considering the position we were in a month ago, when the Evertonians taunted us with "going down" chants when they were 2-1 up at Anfield (given their current plight there is a nice irony about that).

The lack of depth in the Liverpool squad was exposed yesterday, one transfer window would never be able to put right the asset stripping of the last couple of seasons,  but after the double header against Sparta Prague it's West Ham where Gerrard and Agger will be back and potentially Andy Carroll now he's back in training. So we will be okay until the FA return in March and decide to whisk all our players off to Jupiter, or wherever their latest friendly happens to be.

Wolves

Can anybody explain how Wolves have beaten Manchester United, Manchester City, Chelsea, Liverpool and Sunderland, that's 5 of the top 7 in the league and still be rock bottom. Has this ever happened before? If that doesn't sum up how bizarre this season has been then nothing will.

Woy and West Bwom

If West Brom are throwing away 3 goal leads before Hodgson's got to work on the training ground I really fear for them! I assume old Pigeon face must of gone into the dressing room at half time and had a few words with the players. If you read nothing else this weekend, read this article from todays Independant. It says it better than I ever could......http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/the-last-word-hodgson-has-found-his-level-with-west-brom-2213246.html